Rain-shine

As I sit here typing out this post, I hear the patter of raindrops upon the rooftop. Out the window, I can also see the sun shining brightly instead of the usual grayness outside. It's a beautiful sight, although unexpected. I suppose I am so used to seeing dark, gray clouds when it rains that when we have a shower, and the sun is shining, like today, I always look on in awe. God does that! 

My thoughts immediately turned to my little "Grand-Bam", Kyler, who bravely informed me that it took both the sunshine and rain to make a rainbow. 

Here, I find myself today, only two days away from that tragic day when we lost Steffan a year ago. I must admit that a lot of things have came to my mind this week. Memories. Moments. One minute I find that I'm smiling or laughing, then crying and all beside myself the next. I'm OK one moment, then not-OK the next. They say that is normal. Seems anything but so to me sometimes. Kind of like the sunshine and the raindrops, I suppose. 

I find that there are moments I want to talk about it, then suddenly I shut down and just can't anymore. Those moments give me no warning. It's the strangest thing, grief is. As the raindrops fall, I'm reminded that 

life is full of all kinds of precious memories, sunshine moments, we experienced, laced with spatterings of pain, disappointments and broken dreams along the way. 

It all goes together. The good, the bad, the pretty and ugly, etc. Reminds me of the verse in the Bible which talks about it raining on the just and unjust. I dare say that doesn't make any of this any easier though.

The little downpour reminds me that things come to pass. Truly, everything does and will. It's a fact of life. That realization is both encouraging and dreadfully frightening at the same time. Seems a bit hopeless I suppose, BUT...

...knowing that the Lord brings both the rain and the sunshine is somewhat comforting. I can trust Him. Lord knows, in this season of life, I long for that and to know - 

He is Master and Author. Rain-maker and Sunshine-flinger. He covers it all! 

I reminded someone today that God is the giver and taker of life. We don't always understand His reasoning or timing, that's for certain. We have trouble coming to grips with it all and adjusting. I don't suppose I'll ever become "used to and OK" with it either, but I'll learn to adjust as I continue to walk this path. Death is something we're never ever completely prepared for whether it is long and drawn out or suddenly.

Kyler taking flowers to Daddy

As my tears begin to fall, along with the raindrops, I'm thankful I have the Lord on my side. As the sadness encompasses me once again, until the next bout of laughter comes around, I'll run into His arms. For once in my life, I am thankful that I am a "flight" person because those arms are always open for me to run into. It doesn't matter if it's raining, if there's a giant storm in my life, or whether the sun is shining brightly, or a little of it all at once is happening, He is always standing there with open arms. 

He accepts all the weaknesses, sadness and disappointments life brings our way. He accepts us when we're wracked with pain, when grief consumes us, and when our hearts are broken in pieces. He is there when we're happy, when we're celebrating and life is grand. He's a constant; He's always there. Raindrops and/or sunshine! He covers it all. Thank you Lord, for the "rain-shine"!

Thanks to everyone who has covered our family in prayer and has been there to support us during this season. We couldn't have made it without your participation in God's plan. 

God bless each of you!