Blessed Are Those

*This post is concerning those who grieve. If you would rather not read about it, please wait until another post. I’ve just got to write this one out though for those who are hurting today. 

We wonder how many “firsts” there can possibly be in a life after loss. Just when you think there can’t possibly be any more, another one catches us off guard and causes a unforeseen meltdown. 

I’m experiencing the effects from another tsunami grief wave which took place this weekend. The particulars aren’t really important; we all arrive from different roads. Our experiences are as different as the routes we may take to get from our homes to the beach. The one thing that’s the same is the pain and hurt we must deal with before becoming stable once again. 

I’ll share my story for an example: 

For me, it was simply a voice. It was exciting because it was a new voice which usually doesn’t take the lead; but for me the voice sounded like my Steffan. Nobody on the platform had a clue what was happening inside of me in the beginning.  I’d venture to say, at first, I didn’t even know where the sudden gush of hot tears came from. However, in an instant I was reeling like a rubber raft in the middle of tumbling, white waters. 

Although the tears fell involuntarily, I continued to play and sing — until I couldn’t.  You see, that voice soon combined with my now “oldest” son’s, Rustin, in a duet and that seemed to be the breaking of the dam for me. 

Sometimes we experience the what should or could have been moments. Those cause the pain we carry in our hearts to erupt like a volcano spewing lava everywhere. So, I gave myself grace to bail out on practice and space to take refuge in my office alone where I wailed and groaned until I thought I had it all out. 

The truth is, sometimes we don’t overcome and rebound in a single day. We have to learn to become okay with that no matter what though. Although we may manage to pull ourselves together, like I did for service yesterday, just underneath the surface is a turbulence which won’t be denied. 

Our hearts continue to spasm in pain, almost literally at times it seems. The longings are insatiable. The tears seem to keep falling because they have nowhere else to go. In spite of it all, it’s a wave we are required to ride out. We must. And it’s exhausting. 

God oversees it. 

That sounds ridiculous to some, others who know Him personally know that He’s our only and best hope for getting back to the shore safely. He carries us gently back to shore. He tends to us in those tender, aching moments. Sometimes He comforts us in private, while at other times He sends those, like the Good Samaritan, who stop to offer a prayer, a hug, a tissue, or a shoulder to cry on. Indeed, it doesn’t always immediately take away the pain, wounds take time to heal, but He’s always there in the midst of it giving us much needed peace. Yes, we can have peace in spite of the visible tears just as we can experience joy without a smile on our face. It’s inward work, God designed to help give us the strength to make it through. 

This we have probably all experienced if we’re walking this journey together. It doesn’t go away in a year, five, fifteen or probably even fifty years; its here to stay forever. Our Unwanted Gifts. 

Grief is a result of having loved. We still love, even after our losses. Love is as ever present as God, because God is love. So grief can be good even though we feel we’d be better off without it being a part of our lives. This is the painful side of grief, you see. The flip side is that it won’t last always. Yes, while in this life it will always be an ever-present companion, God holds the keys and will one day wipe it all away. Until then, He weeps with us and binds up the broken-hearted and ministers through His hands and feet. People can’t “fix” our broken hearts but God has made it possible for them to bring comfort and to love on us during our moments. What a blessing!

Hope this brings you courage if you’re reeling in pain today. Weeping may endure right now, but joy cannot be denied just as our tears cannot. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted...it’s right there in His words. Just as real as we hurt, there’s a God who sees, weeps with us, and collects every single tear we cry. I can say this with assurance, and with a presently aching heart. We’re in good hands, in spite of our pain. Hang in there, the waves will calm in a little while and we’ll be standing on the calm shoreline together again. Be comforted today, in Jesus name. 

If you’d like to leave a comment or share a snippet of your story, feel free to do so. There is a comfort in sharing.