Red Bird Moments

 

“Who comforteth us...that we may be able to comfort them...by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”  

                  2 Corinthians 1:4

I’ve written many times about sitting on my front porch enjoying nature and the beautiful red birds which visit our home. I was told after Steffan died that when God sends a red bird, it’s a visitor from Heaven. Normally, when I see a red bird I think of my loved one, have an overwhelming sense of love, and pause to treasure the memories I’m left with for a few moments. Today, I had a totally different experience. 

I filled my watering spout with fresh water and headed out to my front porch for morning watering before the sunshine got too steamy. I opened the door to step out - and almost collided with a red bird which decided to fly through the breezeway at the same time. I jerked back quickly, being momentarily shocked by the happening. That was a first! 

After I recovered, finished and was back inside, I thought about the incident being a literal, played out version of what sometimes happens in my world. I haven’t written about it in a little bit, but that’s a good representation of how grief works. 

It’s been a little over three and a half years now since tragedy struck our family and we lost our son in a motorcycle accident. At first, the grief was overwhelming, as anyone who has experienced a loss can testify. 

Today, the grief is just as intense, just not constant. A normal day for us still  usually consists of a underlying, nagging sensation of knowing our family isn’t whole - the last several days have been on the harder side for both myself and my husband. Some days are just like that. 

However, we can be going about our days doing life “as normal” when a sudden grief wave slaps us in the face out of nowhere - kind of like that red bird incident I was telling you about. 

It catches us completely by surprise and off guard. It can be the simplest things too! I don’t know if that will ever totally go away - or if we would even want it to. This is a journey and we’re still learning as we go along.

That’s part of my story. I’m sure you have your own story of grief you could share, whether the loss be temporary or of the permanent sort. And, of course, we are all aware we cannot begin to compare losses. They’re each unique, personal, and touch us differently. I’ve learned that in the last few years too as I’ve also experienced empty nest and lost a set of grandparents and my mother. 

Grief will either make you turn inward or outward. I’ve had my share of inward moments - and still do.  Sometimes I just have to. I have no explanation for that yet. However, the beautiful thing I’ve found out about grief and loss is the opportunity it presents to take the compassion I’ve gained and the experiences I’ve had and turn outward. 

It’s so much easier and real when we minister and serve through our pain and out of our brokenness. Although we’ll never fully understand another’s loss, we can relate if we’ve had a similar losses. Grief presents a gift that we must choose to open and share with others. God will always be there to help us along, but it’s our choice. 

Jesus showed us how to grieve when Lazarus died. He cried. He grieved. Then, He ministered. When John died, He even went away to be by Himself. Then, He ministered. 

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t get it right every time, and there are those times I turn inward because the pain seems unbearable even now. Yet, there have also been times when I’ve felt the honor of using this “expensive” gift to be a blessing in another’s life. 

No, I wouldn’t choose this journey, however, I wouldn’t take anything for what I have gained from losing. 

I don’t know where you may be in your journey either, but I encourage you today to keep walking, experiencing, learning, and when you’re able, ministering to others who are also hurting. I’m so grateful for and have been blessed by those who have shared and reached out to minister to me.    

Just as surely as you have experienced your own grief, I’m sure you have your own red bird moments. Now, what will we choose to do with them? It’s up to us; today I’ve chosen to share. 

Wherever and whomever you are, be encouraged and blessed.