Daily Loaded

 

“Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.” Psalm 68:19

I’ve been contemplating and evaluating the last couple days or so. I even asked my hubby today at lunch, “What was God thinking when He designed me?” Some days I think that I’m absolutely crazy. 

While trying to explain to him why I was feeling discouraged, taken advantage of, confused and lonely, he just shook his head and replied, “I don’t know what to tell you.” 

Just what a girl wants to hear when she’s looking for answers, right? I guess that’s why the Bible says we’re to be our husband’s helpmeet and not the other way around. Yeah, that was supposed to be a bit comical there. You may laugh!

The stress and pull of everything I was feeling wasn’t such a laughable matter to me though; I needed answers, or else I considered pulling my hair out or at the very least momentarily pulling a blanket up over my head. Just a little dose of daily stress, that’s all it was, right? I could certainly survive this.  After all, I’m a pretty tough cookie. 

I read this verse of Scripture and began to ponder it. I was definitely feeling the weight of being “daily loaded” today and my aching back was invisible, but real, proof of that. 

The questions which bewildered me were just as baffling to my hubby as they were to me. If I chose this, then I had to deal with that. If A happened, then B wouldn’t. There was really no correct AND ideal scenario in all the options I listed. No wonder I sounded crazy, this was definitely a full-sized mixing board of emotions, situations and responses I was dealing with. I was using all the buttons and slides, it wasn’t simply an on/off switch to be thrown for an answer. Unfortunately. 

I thought about another verse which spoke about learning to be content in all things. I wondered silently to myself, “Is this what I’m supposed to be doing here?” Was I feeling all the feels because I needed to release my will and be obedient? Was this the path God intended me to be on? Or was there an option I could and should be choosing to get rid of some of the stress and questions? Seemed like one question produced yet another question awaiting to be answered. 

Cast all my cares on Him?

Surrender to His will?

Be content?

Wait upon the Lord?

You ever been there, my friend?  With more questions than answers?

Daily loaded. Benefits. Yes!!! Benefits were positive things, right? 

I can see some benefits beforehand and some don’t come into view for me until I’m looking back at them after the fact. I can have confidence in knowing, however, that God is in control. 

Whether I’m feeling at peace with a situation or whether I’m struggling with it, God will bring some good out of it. Period!

The benefits are sometimes learning a lesson from the struggle. Sometime the benefit is not having the pressure of struggle at all. Kind of like an “even if” or “if, then”. The major benefit I enjoy is having the God of my salvation on my side. He’s always right there. 

So, I’d A doesn’t work out, nor B, or even C; then there’s still the rest of the alphabet. It might not always be to my liking, but never will it be to my disadvantage; because God is continually working on my behalf. To make me better. Stronger. More resilient. Obedient. Like Him. 

Talk about benefits! No matter how confusing a day can be, our Lord knows and feels our hurt, anxiety and frustration. He also knows our heart, desires, and motives. He knows the plans He has for us and what is best and what will make us bring Him glory. Think about your struggles and the benefits you might not yet see. Are we willing to trust God before the answer is given? 

My friend, that’s exactly what a girl needs to hear on the bad hair days, isn’t it? There will be times of confusion, questions, hurt, and the likes. That’s kind of normal, I guess. No, she’s not crazy. Yes, she’s daily loaded, for her betterment...and for His glory.