My thoughts were centered upon the recent aftermath of hurricane Laura, which took place in West Louisiana recently. The hurricane brought great devastation to that area; matter of fact, they are still recovering in all sorts of ways from its effects. I know this first hand since I have family in that area.
Although the community didn’t quite receive the media coverage, the aftermath of Laura left businesses in ruins, electricity hubs demolished, homes and nature forever changed. Also, people’s lives have been changed indefinitely. I don’t think they’ll ever forget the feelings which arose as they received a mandatory evacuation notice, as they watched the storm rage through on the Weather Channel or some other news outlet, or as they waited to hear the reports of how their place of residency withstood the storm. I can only imagine the heaviness of hearts and numbness when they began to return.
My sister (safely) FaceTimed me driving through town and I could see, for myself, the massive amounts of downed trees, cut up and reduced to huge piles of twisted rubbish along the sides of the road. Some houses were simply demolished, others had apparently suffered damage and were being protected by those lovely, bright, blue tarps. Places of business were closed or shut down entirely, either for repairs or to be rebuilt from the ground up. Laura’s devastation is quite clear and visible everywhere you turn. A city forever changed, a community which won’t soon forget.
I also learned from my family when they returned, that while some of the roofs are visibly damaged or even gone, that there were some roofs which appeared to only be missing a shingle or two but are severely damaged within. The hurricane force winds blew so fiercely that trusses and rafters inside, under the roof, are twisted, broken and mangled. This isn’t recognizable from the outside. It’s not until you get up close and personal, or when the adjuster is going through an attic that this information is found out.
The people in these communities are dealing with loss and the stress of evaluating, clearing away debris, repairing, rebuilding and/or replacing their possessions. Not to mention, living day to day with no electricity and a lack of normal necessities and the usual way of life. God bless all those from other states who have stepped in and were a blessing during this time.
Grief is all about loss. There are different types of losses, different depths of grief and everyone grieves in their own unique way and time period. It’s not a simple formula.
I’ve learned and seen enough to know, some people continue on with life after loss, seemingly unscathed. Others seem to crumble in a heap of tears and emotions which are frightening and even paralyzing. Everyone grieves differently and, rest easy, your grief style is right and normal for you.
There are those who offer the “I’m fine” response to escape the trap of having to explain what they’re feeling to someone who can’t possibly understand or asked without really desiring to know the truth. Even though they may be falling apart inside, they are labeled strong because of what it looks like on the outside. On the other hand, there are those grieving people who are sometimes labeled weak because they’re struggling in the grief process and it’s very noticeable. However, when you really stop and consider it, both individuals are strong – you have to be strong to walk this road.
If a person chooses to experience grief, instead of running from it, they are not weak no matter how they might appear in our opinions and eyes.
The truth is, no matter what it looks like from the outward view, we can never fully know the trauma and depth of pain someone is experiencing on the inside without getting up close and personal. Even then, we cannot completely “get it” because grief is a personal journey, which is why it can be so lonely.
Another thing I’ve learned about the aftermath of Laura is that there are some precious people who have learned the hard way that, hidden within the small print of their insurance coverage, is a deductible which is unreasonably high priced. They never knew this until they suffered through a storm. Now, the price they must pay to even resume life in this “new-normal” is almost. unthinkable.
It’s the same way with grief, the price is unreasonably high, but must be paid by all.
To get up close and personal enough to help and make a difference in the life of an individual, means it will get uncomfortable at times and you too will pay a price. It means you must choose to stay even in the silence. It means not turning your back, it means not being disgusted with the messy, afraid to tend a wound, or being impatient with the prolonged journey. If you’re going to help, you’re going to get bled on. I know, it doesn’t sound fun, it’s a sacrifice of love.
If you’re going to properly grieve, you have to pay a high price too. Grief affects every part of a person’s life and there just isn’t any chance of escaping it if you choose life. My favorite saying since I’ve met grief face to face is, “Who knew restoration looked so much like demolition?” Yes, to begin anew, everything must be first demolished and rebuilt upon a firm foundation.
The very first step of the grief journey is making a conscious decision to start. Before you begin, you have to count the cost because - it doesn’t come without a cost. The grief journey isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes courage and determination to be resilient. It takes much time and effort.
We must also call for assistance occasionally. It takes being able to admit that you need help. We can’t always rely on our own strength to get through. We must have a knowledgable Guide to oversee the process if we are going to make a successful comeback. We must find those safe people like mentioned above, and even that’s not easy at times. We must also be willing to dedicate our time because it’s a journey, not a one-day trip. It takes a lot of guts with little glory along the way. However, it is worth every effort and the unraveling when you begin to feel alive again and the glorious unfolding begins.
Just a little insight with a real-life application. Don’t sum up the devastation in someone’s life without digging deeper to really see what’s going on within. Don’t label without the knowledge, don’t accept the process without counting the cost. And, most of all, please know that although the price to rebuild and overcome may seem unreasonably high, it is well worth the sacrifice and struggle to experience the growth which takes place. Finally, know that you aren’t expected nor do you ever have to walk this road alone. Not everyone is able or will be willing to stay and lend a hand, but reinforcements will always come just in time. God will see to it.
I’m learning more and more about what it means to be present and walk the grief journey, both alone and with someone else. We don’t always like where we’re at in our life, but where we are is exactly where God is. The experience, the process, and the recovery WILL be worth the storm and struggle. Invest. Rebuild with that assurance and confidence. God never wastes a hurt...even in the face of loss and grief, there is the possibility of restoration. Let’s grab a bumper sticker and display it for all to see - WE’RE STILL HERE! The storm was devastating, but we are stronger.
I was good to read this and know you are still sharing your heart. Love and miss you still.
ReplyDeleteSo good to hear from you!! Seems it’s been forever. I lost your email address somehow. Love and miss you too! Think about you often. ♥️
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