From Basic Training To Battle Ready

As I’ve went thru this season of life, First moment by moment, then day by day, I’m learning so much more about the character of God and about His ways. It’s making that track from head to heart. 

Romans 8:37 “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” 

Basic Combat Training, often referred to as “boot camp” by civilians, is a 10 week training course that transforms civilians into Soldiers.

You'll learn teamwork and discipline, and how to handle a weapon, rappel and march. The work is physically and mentally demanding. You’ll experience stress and you’ll test your limits. 

Basic training is what I’d describe as growing up IN CHURCH. You’re taught since early childhood about Jesus loving you, the character of God and what it takes to live for Him and make it to Heaven. 

You’ve got it in your head. You know all the stuff, you’ve graduated from boot camp. You’ve been a cadet and now you’re a trained soldier ready for battle. 

Then “real life” happens. Battlefield scenarios. This time and appointment we’ll all one day face  - when what we’ve known in our head has to be transferred to our hearts in order for us to survive. 

That’s where I found myself the evening of September 27, 2017 when I stood over the body of my deceased son. 

I knew God is good. 

Faithful

Sovereign 

Never makes mistakes

Works all things for good

His ways are perfect. 

But, there I stood with all the emotions and questions only a shocked, grieving mother could have. He was gone! And I was numb. 

I knew to give praise in the good AND bad times. I had even asked How Great Thou Art to be sung for me at church that night.  Yes, I knew. Had been to boot camp...but now I had to live it out. In the trenches. 

Recently, I was reminded of David. I can relate to him. He was a writer. He loved God. He went through dark times in his life. He had been in the meadow with the sheep, killed a lion and a bear. He had experienced different seasons in his life. He had won. He had failed miserably. In a Psalm he would go from groaning in turmoil and grief to talking about the character of God and praising Him. 

I learned quickly in my own life, that I had a lot more to learn about trusting God. About leaning on Him. About learning to walk with the Shepherd through the valley. Allowing Him to carry me. The truth is, I had a lot more to learn. Yes, it was indeed proving time. 

As Job sat in his grieving condition and proclaimed:

Job 23:10, “ But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”

All that knowledge I had stored up in my head had to be transferred to my heart. I now had to move from the knowledge phase to the experience.  Put it all into action. What I knew in my head now had to be felt with my heart in order for me to make it thru. But I was too broken and weak. A disaster. 

As I’ve went thru this season of life, First moment by moment, then day by day, I’m learning so much more about the character of God and about His ways. It’s making that track from head to heart. 

His strength is made perfect in weakness. 

I cry. He notices every tear. 

I hurt. He’s touched with the feelings of my infirmities. 

I feel broken-hearted. He is close. 

When I’m sad. He holds me. 

I can’t carry on. He carries me. 

When I fall again. He catches me and puts me back upright. 

When I’m fearful. He is my comforter. 

When I’m feeling lonely. He is there. 

I’ve now experienced Him in a new and wonderful way. Has it been worth it? In my flesh I’d say I’d rather have my son here with me today, but in my heart, I know the things I’ve gained since that tragic day have been priceless. 

Does the sadness creep in? Yes

Does the pain continue? Yes

Do I still have bad days? Yes

Do Instill cry? Yes

Do I still deal with crazy emotions? Yes

What’s different now?

I know differently. 

He sees me in whatever condition I’m in. I’m not ashamed. 

I don’t have to hide it, I can be truthful. It’s okay that I’m weak.

I know He’ll carry me on those days I still can’t. He’s well able. 

I know He holds me close and is doing a new work within me. And He is faithful to complete it. 

All the verses take on a new and personalized meaning. That’s the beautiful thing about serving my God. It’s not a one size fits all, its individualized. 

Things are slowly transferring from my head to my heart. With each day that passes, more perseverance accumulates and grows. I no longer have those days when I just want to quit. I still get frustrated and overwhelmed but I know, in my heart, that He’s trying me and if I keep pressing on, I’ll come forth as gold. 

Grief will show you what you're made of, and it will show you what God's made of. He works with the broken pieces of our lives when we invite Him to do the work. It might get pretty messy, I know it gets that way for me some days, but He is always busy working within us, preparing us, through each process, to fulfill His purpose. 

That is the stuff you learn in the trench. When the pages of life turn and the chapter seems more like a nightmare, this is when you will see and learn God in an entirely new level. This is the stuff conquerors  are made of!! 

Keep on leaning on Him. Keep going back for help. Keep asking Him for help. His character speaks for itself. And he wants to prove it to you. 

Romans 8:28

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” 

This is how I’ve made it here today and how you’ll make it through your situation too. His promises are true. I invite you to try Him in whatever season you’re in. 

I’ve been through enough to know, He’ll be enough for me.