When the Waves Subside

As I sit here, tapping away at this keyboard, it's getting dark outdoors. Hurricane Michael has made landfall and is headed our way. 

I've attentively watched live coverage of this weather phenomenon for the last two days as people have evacuated. And...man!  Those waves though. Tumbling. Rumbling. Crashing. Strength-filled. Relentless. Hitting hard.

It crossed my mind concerning what I've heard so many times since the death of our son a little over a year ago now. The "waves" of grief come in and then go out...like the tide. You have to learn to roll with it.

As I watch the monstrous waves, I'm reminded of the intense grief waves I've survived and come through in the last couple weeks. During those intense days, it felt like I was in the midst of those horrific, death-threatening waves myself, fighting for survival, tumbling to and fro, trying to figure out which way was up so I could take a breath of air. Maybe it's hard to imagine if you've never experienced it, however, it's more real to me than I ever wanted it to or imagined it could be. And I'm learning all about it...more with each cycle of waves.

I found this picture and it spoke volumes to me. Yes, a picture can paint a thousand words!

When the waves subside. 

Thankfully, it isn't always that intense. The waves of grief subside a bit and allow for a time of reprieve. Finally. Once again, instead of the intense pain, I find I manage a real smile and breathe more easily. The warm, sun seems to peek out again and instead of feelings of intense loss, I feel the warmth of love that's left behind - even after the storm. Beautiful memories. To have loved.

Somehow I'm finding that, as I go along, the Lord is showing me the importance of having loved. A dear friend has reminded me many times, "You can't go wrong loving." So true! There is both happiness and sadness wrapped up in the act of loving. Yet, when life is over and all is said and done, it matters only that we have loved well. Grief is a result of having loved. Period.

So, to keep this post a bit shorter, (the hurricane is nearing our area now) I'm thankful for the fact that no matter how the storms may rage, or how rough the tide, God is always near and a very present help. No matter how the waves may toss me about during those intense moments when a new grief wave may hit, I know that after the waves subside...love will remain. And it's always worth the risk and pain that may come along with it...to love and have loved well.

Yes...I'm getting it in baby steps:

I don't have to be afraid...the waves will subside.

I'll be alright...the waves  will subside.

God will sustain...the waves will subside.

Until the next wave rolls in...I invite you to join me - love well. It's hard sometimes, but so worth it.