What's Your Shackle?

 "Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger...and be not faithless, but believing." John 20:27

I suppose it's normal to reminisce and "relive" those final days you have together with someone you love. The Bible gives us play-by-play rundowns of the last days of Jesus. I don't know if it's quite legit to compare the two either, but today when I awoke, I thought about it.

Today would have been the last day which I was privileged to cook supper for my son, Steffan. Zuppa Tuscana. I thought about serving up a big pot of it this afternoon for supper. Still haven't ruled it out yet, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Anyhow, it started my mind to thinking about those last few days and moments. I'm thankful all over again that God saw fit to bless me with that week together with him before he left this world. God is so good! Maybe we shouldn't take our days and our people for granted like we do. I had no idea that week would be the final one. Think about that today as you go about! What if today was it?

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As I was dusting my bookshelf today, I took the old, blue, micro-fiber rag to the wooden representation of my word for the year. I chose Believe. Funny thing was, although it wasn't at the time, I dropped it in the kitchen the day I bought it and it split right in two. I kind of laughed to myself and hoped that incident was no representation of the upcoming year I was facing. Side note: It hasn't been an easy one in the least. I'm sure anyone reading this can understand that.

From day to day, I've had to deal with a shattered heart, the pain, sadness and the tears. I've had to learn to cope through each grief wave that hit me like a ton of bricks. I've had to settle in my mind those questions I'll never have answers to. I've had to continue on, keep hanging in there, and not give up on life. Today, I'm glad to say I'm still standing. I'll be the first to admit I don't have it all together yet. I still fall, I still get sucked in by the waves which come over me out of nowhere. Simply put...I still have much to learn and overcome. I'm still believing...every day.

However, through it all, even on those days when I've questioned God, I've clung tightly to what I believe about God. His reputation and characteristics are infallible. I believe He is Sovereign. He is the Author who is writing my story. He always knows best and can see so much more than what I can even begin to imagine. He loves me and is faithful. Finally, His will is the best place to be - even when it feels like the heart is in a constant vise-grip. 

The things I've been taught since childhood, those things which have been etched into my spirit, those things...I BELIEVE. 

Guess that was the right word to choose for this year after all.

As I continued dusting, I came to the shelf that just became "Steffan's shelf". It has his first Air-Jordans (please no Nike comments, they're 25 years old), his tiny moccasins, his first Father's Day card, his hard hat and a silver shackle. I thought about that shackle, part of the rigging hardware that kept my son secure up on the beams at the job site. 

The shackle kept Steffan tied to that which was firm and sure. I thought about that shackle and my word of the year. Believe. That word is my shackle!

Believing is the shackle that keeps me tied and secure to that which is firm and sure - God. 

In my life, that's nothing other than God Himself. I can believe, in spite of the questions, doubts, and any emotions that might try to overwhelm me; because I have a God who cannot fail. He is the sure foundation that keeps me upright! 

So, although I might not be on top of the world today or have it all together. I'm a bit teary-eyed at times and brokenhearted, yet I'm still believing like a champ. My emotions don't keep me from knowing in my heart what is real. The physical, wooden, word might have broken in two, but the concept in my heart will never be broken. God be my helper! We cannot go wrong when we believe and trust in a God who cannot fail. It is safe to believe in Him, every time, no matter what situations in life we may find ourselves. 

Let's join together today, whether you're near or far, and take our proverbial shackles, hook them into God and believe with all our hearts. Let's form a faith-bond! Believing won't always stop the pain or fix the consequences, but God is faithful and will always work it out for good if we'll allow Him to. If we've fallen, He will pick us up. If our lives are shattered, He will put them back together again. If we're hurting, He will heal our hearts. If we're overwhelmed by life and all the distractions it brings, He will be our Peace. 

Are you ready? He only needs us to hand him all the pieces and give Him permission to put them back together again - His way...and for us to keep believing. What's your shackle? 

*The title inspiration came from my daughter, Allyssa. Thanks for your help!