So, if you read this blog very often at all, you'll know that I try to share with you those things I feel God is showing and teaching me. I do that in hopes of encouraging you if you find yourself there. This blog is also to record those things for myself so I can go back and be reminded of them when I need to. I've said it over and over again, I don't have it "all together" and I often find myself with bandages on my own knees and elbows (and heart) because I've taken another tumble. Just because I write it, doesn't mean that I have a black belt in that area. No, it's because God is working on me IN that area.
I've been writing a lot lately about exposing my heart, the dark, ugly parts that I haven't wanted to deal with to God. I've talked about Him gently "un-peeling" me like an onion - one layer at a time. I suppose it's kind of like the great Physician is doing major surgery in my life. Like anyone who's ever had surgery before knows well, an incision takes time to heal. It is often extremely sensitive. There is often pain during the process of it healing too. It takes a while sometimes before it can be exposed to the world. I think it's just like that when God begins to work within us. As He takes out the infected pieces, we are instantly better no doubt, however, it still takes time for us to completely recover.
I say all that to tell you that today I have had to go back and be reminded of nuggets of truth He's shown me in previous days. That I'm a work in progress! That is takes time. I'll admit, I've had a hard time "singing" today. I found myself curled up on my couch, in a fetal position, crying out to the Lord for help. I'm learning to cast my cares upon Him and sometimes it looks really childish. Do you ever find yourself there? I'm sure you do. It's OK.
I'm so thankful that I don't have to act like I've got it all together. He knows better! I'm glad that I can bring all my broken pieces to Him. You can too. If we happen to have one of those "bad" days like I've had today, if we fall and skin our knees up, we can be encouraged in the simple fact that He's not afraid of our messiness. He'll even kiss those unsightly boo-boos. He is a God of compassion.
Our song may sound a bit off key today. Indeed, it may sound more like a joyful noise than a beautiful melody; that's a lot better than not singing at all though.
One day, we'll be completely whole. Until then, let's not be ashamed to admit we need Him desperately. We don't have to look like perfection. If it looks ugly or childish, or even downright ridiculous, it's alright. We're each a work in process. Healing at different speeds. In different areas. God doesn't care if we need more time, He cares if we won't admit it and bring it to Him and allow Him to touch those sensitive places which are still in the healing process. He's always waiting to hold us close.
Tomorrow will be a new day... note to myself, and you as well:
Hang in there!
"Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is."
I John 3:2